Almost every year, Darlene, my teaching partner, and I, do a dinosaur unit in our primary classroom. As a culmination to a month of learning about dinosaurs and fossils, we always plan a field trip to Darlene’s house, which is located close to a beautiful sandy beach. The “Dinosaur Dig” is often the highlight of our school year!

To make a long explanation short, the children begin this exciting trip by visiting a dig site on the beach where they excavate a variety of “dinosaur fossils.” These finds are then taken to the “Lab” (Darlene’s back yard!) to examine, identify, and use in a variety of activity stations. Ahead of time, we prepare for the day by strategically planting “fossils” in the sand. After showing ID tags that identify them as real paleontologists, the children enter the dig area, find their numbered site and carefully begin the process of excavating dinosaur fossils!

In preparation for this special day, we ask the children to come prepared by bringing some specialized equipment from home! Each one is asked to bring a spoon for digging and a small brush for removing sand. At school we provide them with a waist bag in which to keep their equipment and later, their fossils.

In any given year, there are always some children who are devastated on the morning of The Dig because they have forgotten to bring their “equipment.” And then, there are always those others who bring in enough for a whole class!

Well, this year, Greg, an enthusiastic student from a very supportive family, brought in a sample of every type of fossil-digging tool known to mankind! Not only did he have extra spoons and brushes to suit every possible type of fossil he might discover, he also had a little shovel and several blunt-ended, homemade wooden chisels! I didn’t know it at the time, but as we left the classroom and headed to the cars, he kindly lent Daniel–who had no special tools at all–a couple of his precious silver spray-painted chisels.

At the end of The Dig, just as we were lining up to make our way to the Dinosaur Lab, Daniel came to me. With great concern on his face, he explained that he no longer had Greg’s chisels–he had lost them! He knew it wasn’t right to leave the beach knowing he had lost Greg’s tools. He wanted to stay and search for them.

Now, Daniel is one of the more difficult children in our class. He has some severe emotional issues caused by Bipolar Disorder. Over the past six months of school, he has lost many friendships and desk partners because of his increasingly sullen, depressed attitude and sometimes, angry and annoying behavior.

I knew that it was very important to find the tools he had lost, not because Greg would be upset about not getting them back (Greg would be momentarily, but being a secure little boy, he would get over a little loss such as this quickly and easily,) but rather because Daniel desperately needed the experience of having a happy ending to a situation in which he had acted with great personal integrity.

So, despite the fact that all the other kids were lined up in the heat and would have to wait a bit, I offered to go back and help him look for the tools he had lost. Luckily, the dig sites were well-delineated and the children had spent most of the time in their own areas. After a minute or two of sifting through sand, I finally found first one, and then the other chisel. (Thank goodness!)

While digging through the sand, I had the opportunity to chat with Daniel and use some reflective questions to help him think positively about this seemingly negative situation. I began by asking him to identify the level of behavior of someone who had borrowed something special from a friend, lost it, but then would not leave the area until he had made every possible attempt to find it.

He identified that this was Level D. Without expecting (or receiving) a response out loud, I asked him to think about that.  How did he feel inside when he displayed such a high level of behavior? I gave him a word to describe the character trait he had shown–integrity. I asked him to think about the type of relationship he was creating with Greg by showing such a high level of integrity.

The next day, I took some time to talk to Daniel again. This time I brought out our DwStress Hierarchy. We talked about the different types of relationships that people create with others by operating on the various levels. We began with the lowest levels and talked about how people operating down at A and B don’t create very positive relationships. I asked how people operating at a low level would respond if they had lost a borrowed tool at the beach. He said that they would just walk away and not bother to look for it at all.

I had to help him with Level C, but in the end we came up with this: A person operating from external motivation might wait until either a teacher or another child made them look for the lost item. The relationship that they created would be only “so-so.” The person from whom they had borrowed the tool would be happy to have it back but would also remember that the person they had loaned it to wasn’t all that concerned about having lost it–at least not concerned enough to take the initiative to start looking for it without being asked.

Then we went on to Level D. Of course, from our conversation the previous day on the beach, Daniel knew that he had been operating on the highest level that day. We talked about what Greg would be thinking about as he watched Daniel, obviously concerned about having lost the chisels–so concerned that he would not leave the beach until they had been found.

We talked about how Daniel, through his actions, had built a sense of trust with his friend. I asked, “Would Greg be willing to lend you something else on another day? Why?” Of course, Greg would remember the beach experience and would feel that he could trust Daniel to return any item that he borrowed.

I explained to Daniel that by his high level of behavior on the beach, he had developed a sense of trust, not only with Greg but also with his two teachers, other kids in the class and even parents who had noticed the whole situation. Many people at the beach had witnessed his integrity that day. They had seen that he was a person who could be trusted because he had owned up to losing something, and then tried to find it. I said that I, for one, would be happy to lend him anything he needed, simply because I knew I could trust him to return it.

We also talked about that despite having had the desire to find Greg’s chisel that day, it might have turned out that the chisel couldn’t be found–things can easily get lost in so much sand. Even if that had occurred though, it wouldn’t have changed the fact that Daniel had acted on the highest level. Greg would have still known that Daniel was an honest person, full of integrity, because he had taken responsibility for having lost the tools and had the sincere intention of looking until he found them. In that case, his honest intentions would have been more important than the chisels in the long run.

With so much writing here, it might seem as if this was a huge deal, but of course, it wasn’t. It was just one small incident; barely noticeable to others but potentially powerful to one small child. These type of small character-building experiences are why I absolutely love teaching with the DwStress Hierarchy!

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Posted In: Acknowledgement, RRSystem in Action
posted On: July 1, 2008: 10:25 am: By Kerry Weisner
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