Just this past week, I had a situation in which I was able to use the Hierarchy to help a child named Sarah, feel a bit better about her dealings with a difficult desk partner. I thought I’d share because I think it’s helpful to hear stories of classroom experiences. Additionally I want to encourage people to remember to use the Hierarchy to help children acknowledge not only their misbehavior, but also to become aware of their higher level behavior as well.

One little girl in our class this year, Della, is showing escalating signs of emotional disturbance–and no wonder.  Della’s had an extremely difficult life so far–far more difficult than anything I’ve ever experienced. Sadly, because of the anger and pain Della has had to deal with in her family life, she is frequently quite cold or even mean in her comments to the other students. Although very articulate and bright, she often speaks impulsively and with no regard for the feelings of other people. Her classmates do their best to live with her and be kind but sometimes her sharp tongue is just too much for them to handle.

Such was the case when I returned to the classroom after lunch, last Tuesday. There was Sarah, at the door waiting for me. A very sweet child who is always smiling, she seemed near tears and was obviously worried. She explained that Della was going to “tell on her” and that she “didn’t do it!”

I didn’t bother to find out any more details.  I believed Sarah.  She’s never given me one moment of trouble and I knew I could trust that she was telling me the truth. If she told me that she “didn’t do it”, I knew that she didn’t–whatever IT was!

I took her over to our DISCIPLINE without STRESS Hierarchy chart and asked her to show me the level where she generally operated. She pointed to D.  I said, “Sarah, you’re right. You generally always operate at C or D.”  Then I went on to ask her about what kind of relationships students who operate at the higher levels build with their teachers? She was able to answer “Good,” which doesn’t really say it all, but I knew she understood what I was talking about. (We’ve been talking a lot about this topic lately. A couple of weeks ago we had an outbreak of snapped pencils and deliberately broken pencil tips.  On several occasions we have had classroom conversations about people being trusted with classroom items that are intended for the use of all.)

Then I elaborated for her. I said, “You’re right, Sarah. When people operate at the higher levels, it means that other people come to trust them. If, day in and day out, you are behaving yourself and being honest, teachers come to know that they can count on you to do the right thing and to tell the truth.”

“Now, what do you think, Sarah? If someone tells an untrue story about you–and you tell me that you didn’t do it–will I be able to believe you?” She nodded yes and I said, “That’s right, Sarah. You have shown me day after day that I can trust you, so if you tell me you didn’t do it, I can easily believe you. That’s one of the great things about operating on a high level–other people trust you.  You don’t need to worry that someone could get you in trouble for something you didn’t do.”

And with that, the look of worry on her face completely disappeared.  Appearing quite relieved, she went off to her seat.

I love that Hierarchy!

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Posted In: Acknowledgement, RRSystem in Action, Understanding The Hierarchy
posted On: July 12, 2007: 11:27 pm: By Kerry Weisner
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