You may remember that in the early pages of the DWS book, Dr. Marshall mentions Victor Frankl.  Dr. Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, dramatically demonstrated through his own actions and attitudes while imprisoned in WWII concentration camps that people (whether they realize it or not,) always have the power to choose their own thoughts and perspectives on life––regardless of the situation in which they find themselves.

Teaching this concept of “choice-response thinking” to young people is at the core of the DWS approach.  Realizing that each of us always has a choice in how we behave and learn––regardless of the situation, the stimulus or the urge to act on an impulse––is one of the key understandings that students need in order to take full advantage of the DWS Hierarchy.  Level D derives its power from the fact that it is a voluntary level; it can never be forced.

In the TED clip linked above, Dr. Frankl lectures on another concept closely related to teaching and DWS-–-that of believing in the goodness and greatness of every student, despite the current level of behavior that he/she might be displaying.

I found Frankl’s thinking on this subject to be not only inspiring but very logical too.  It makes sense to believe in others!

The blackboard diagram he draws near the end of the clip, gave me a visual that I intend to bring to mind when I encounter challenging situations with my students.  You might find it useful in calming and directing your mind too.  We, as teachers, also have choices to make!

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This past Monday morning when it was time to go to the gym for our regular Monday morning assembly, Cody had a photograph that a parent must  have given him outside; likely it was a snapshot of a birthday party that he had attended recently.  Being focused on the urgency I felt about getting to the assembly on time, I didn’t notice how much this photo seemed to have captured Cody’s attention.  As a result I got myself into a power struggle with him over putting it away.  I’m embarrassed to say it just got worse and worse!  Eventually it came to a point where I (stupidly) said that he couldn’t take the photo to the gym and from there, the situation really went downhill!

In hindsight, it would have been much smarter to spend just one moment longer to look at the photo with him, admire it, share his pleasure and then make the suggestion that it would be a wise move to put such a precious photo safely into a backpack.  But as they say, hindsight is 20/20!

Angry that I had told him to put the photo away, Cody refused to come to the gym.  To drive the point home, with great determination he ripped up his precious photo in my face.  Thanks to DWS, I was able to send the other kids off to the gym unescorted, explaining: Cody really needs me to talk to him right now. Do you think you can make it to the gym on Level D, all by yourselves?”

I asked Cody, “Who did you hurt by ripping up your photo?”  At first he said, “You made me do it!  It’s your fault!”  I ignored this and asked again:  “Who have you hurt by ripping up your nice picture?”    Well,  we went around in circles for a bit, but a moment later when I elaborated (“Who have you really hurt here?  Who’s the person who really cares about this picture?  Me or you?”) I saw a click happen in his brain.

He suddenly realized that indeed, he was the one who had been hurt by his actions––his picture was destroyed.  He became sullenly silent and started to walk with me to the gym.  When we got there he saw an opportunity to be uncooperative and said, “I’m not going in.  I’m going to stay right out here in the hall.”

Rather than get into another power struggle I said, “I can’t make you come in but I can’t leave you out here by yourself either.  I want to go in because I know the Grade 6′s are singing today and I want to see them.  I’ll just ask Mrs. Smith (an aide) to come and stand with you.”  Well, I’d piqued his curiosity with talk of the singing; he decided he would come in.

But before we got down the four stairs into the gym, he said to me,  “I’m not going to sit with the class.  I’m going to sit by you.”  So we stopped right there at the front of the gym and I said,  “I can’t make you sit with the rest of the kids, but you should know that if you sit beside me, away from the other kids in Grade One, all the people in the gym are going to be looking at you.  They’re going to wonder why you’re sitting with your teacher instead of with your class.  Is that what you want?”

Undaunted and still feeling contrary he said, “Well, I am going to sit with the class but I’m going to curl up in a ball on the floor,” to which it was easy to reply.

“I can’t make you sit up like all the other kids but if you curl up in a ball then everyone is really going to be looking at you and wondering what you’re doing––because that’s quite an unusual thing to do.”  He didn’t say anything more and just went to sit down––upright and in his proper place.

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Here’s what I learned that day:

1. It’s important to take time to give genuine personal attention to a child who needs it in the moment, and;

2. There’s great value in responding calmly to a child who is angry––by pointing out choices and asking reflective questions.

I have just begun using DWS this year with my 4 yr. old special needs preschool classes.  I absolutely love it.  No, my class is not perfect. No, DWS does not solve all behavior problems.  What it does is this: For the first time, I am able to “reward” my kids that are being good, while helping the kids that are not!   It makes me view everything as a teachable moment, rather than a child’s attempt to undermine.  I love the way it stresses the positive and actually encourages me to pay more attention to the children who are doing the right thing.  I still have much to learn and need to practice many aspects but I am extremely excited about the journey. So far things are going very well.   I believe I would have more problems with the personalities in my class if I was doing it the old way.

The idea of teaching every procedure is also a huge life-saver!  I have a child with mild autism and another that may be autistic.  The concept of 6 to 8 weeks for them to learn the procedures was very hard but has reaped many rewards!  It is tough to slow down and NOT be doing some of the things I was doing last year (and that other teachers are doing at our school!)  However, I don’t believe I am behind.  I may not do as many things as the previous year, but content-wise I am not behind and may even be ahead! They are listening better (notice, not perfectly but definitely better!) and transitions are smoother because we practice!

I am trying not to preach too much to co-workers, but it is hard to curtail my enthusiasm.  I definitely want to become better at this approach.   I think it has so much to offer the GOOD kids.  Some of the behavior problems in my class are beyond a simple behavior plan.  We may make a difference for them, we may not.  I have always been concerned for the good kids when all we spend our time doing is trying to catch the problem kids being good, or offering rewards to the problem kids, etc. etc.  FInally, I believe this approach helps ALL kids with the same approach.  I’m sold!!

I work with very low math students. 
Part of my plan for next year is to convince them that
 things can be different. I want to convince them that they can find
 success and not be so frustrated! The worst behavior cases seem
 to be the kids that have given up.
 But then I worry! Maybe I shouldn’t try to convince them that
 they can succeed. What if I’m just setting them up for disappointment? What if they don’t realize that they will have
 to TRY in order for that to happen? I doubt myself constantly.
 Any suggestions?

RESPONSE:

I think you’re absolutely on the right track!

Convincing your students that putting in 
effort is a worthwhile thing to do is very important. I believe it’s a key part of our job. Certainly, consistent effort is 
the only way a less capable student is going to find success.

But at the same time, I don’t think you should promise anyone “specific” successes. 
For example, I don’t think it would be wise (at least not in the first week of school, before you know your students well,) to promise a someone with learning 
difficulties that they could successfully pass a difficult course–simply as a result of expending 
effort. At that early point, you wouldn’t know 
if that was even possible. Every year there are 
many students who DON’T pass math or other difficult subjects, DESPITE 
many hours of hard work, diligent concentration and even the assistance of a 
personal tutor—they simply don’t have the innate cognitive ability.

For part of the week, I work at an 
alternate high school with the lowest students in our school district. Almost all of these 
students have come to this school because they are no longer welcome at any other 
high school in our area – usually for reasons of serious misbehavior (which often 
ultimately stem from low academic skills, dysfunctional home lives, mental illness, 
addictions etc.)

My teaching partner and I find that it’s best to be completely honest in the sense of letting them know that we actually don’t know how far they can go 
in their learning but that if they are willing to give us a chance, and if they’re willing 
to attend regularly, we CAN promise them they will see results. They will see 
PROGRESS. Then, once we’ve promised them progress, we do everything we can to make sure 
that they do see bits of progress (and therefore, success) EVERY DAY. We tailor our teaching to their needs so that they can succeed in baby 
steps if necessary.

For a very discouraged student, promising them that they will SUCCEED (in a specific 
way) is probably too much for them to initially believe. By promising too much, you 
might likely “scare” them. With these sorts of kids that likely means MORE 
behavior problems; it’s actually a defense mechanism for them. Once students have found some success through your careful guiding of instruction, you’ll find it gets 
easier and easier to convince them TO TRY. That’s when they become willing to 
believe you that bigger successes are possible–because you have proven to them 
that success is within reach. At that point, you may be able to promise more specific 
successes because you will have a better grasp of what is realistically possible for 
them.

At that point, my partner and I also do everything we can to ELICIT goals from the 
students and encourage them to make small learning decisions for themselves. 
Dr. Marshall calls this EMPOWERING students through choice. Dr. Gordon Neufeld 
describes it as helping young people “PUT THEIR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL.” 
If you can help students to make goals for THEMSELVES (just small ones at first,) then 
almost automatically they become willing to put forth the necessary effort to improve 
(and hopefully, succeed.)

After all, if a person doesn’t get their hands on the steering wheel, how are they ever going to 
drive on their own and get where they want to go? A student who is “driving” on their 
own is going to go further, faster, than those who have to wait for the TEACHER to 
drive them! This helps foster the desire to operate with INTERNAL motivation, which 
is a very powerful driving force indeed!

Just as a small example, in our high school literacy job, most of our students have an 
individualized stack of vocabulary cards to help them increase the number of words 
they know. At the end of reading a selection, instead of US picking out the words we think they should practice again, we ask THEM to determine which words THEY would 
like to add to their practice decks, based on which they think will be of value to them 
in the future. Over time we find that this sort of continual focus on turning over small 
decisions to them, prompts an inner desire to take charge of their own learning and 
then they start to VOLUNTARILY voice small goals now and then – a significant sign of 
progress in and of itself!

If I were teaching math as you do, I would ask THEM which type of 
questions THEY thought they needed to practice more and then I would follow 
through with that on subsequent days or would be sure to assign those types of questions for 
homework. I would ask THEM to determine HOW MANY questions they thought they 
needed or how difficult the questions should be. Anything you can do to turn over small decisions to your low students will pay big dividends in the long run, as they start to 
see that they can be in charge of their own learning.

Sometimes we find that students make unrealistic goals for themselves. For 
example, our lowest student, 19 years old, asked me for a ride home on the last day 
of school because it was a very hot day and he didn’t want to walk, pushing a stroller, 
(Yes, he has a 2 year old son!) the five 
miles that he usually walks to get home.

As I dropped him off, I asked if he planned to return to school next year and he said, 
“Yes! And I know what I want to do. I want to read the Driver’s Manual and take my 
driving test. I’m going to sit down with the principal and you and all my teachers and 
tell them that this is what I want to learn at school.”

My heart sank. This wonderful, very personable and caring young fellow has extreme 
symptoms of FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.) Despite having attended school in a resource room setting, with a 
student/teacher ratio of less than 10 to 1, for all his elementary school years, he 
couldn’t read ANYTHING at all when we met him two years ago. His parole officer 
told us that prior to working in our program, he couldn’t even find his own name on a 
page of writing.

It has taken us 160 sessions of 30 minutes each, over two years, to get him to part-
way through a grade one level and we consider this a huge success, especially because his 
progress is speeding up as time goes on. However, our highest hope for him is that 
over the next couple of years (as he goes through Adult Ed.,) that we’ll be able to get 
him to a grade three or four reading level—he simply doesn’t have what it takes to read 
the driver’s manual–probably ever.

My first thought was that I needed to tone down his expectations for what he could 
achieve, so as to protect him from disappointment, but thank goodness, I suddenly 
remembered some advice that I heard long ago from a school counselor. 
This man had said that as adults, it is not our job to squash the dreams of children. 
REGARDLESS of how unrealistic we feel a child’s dream is, it is our JOB to support 
them and cheer them on. And then, if necessary, it is our job to be there to support and comfort and love 
them, should they face disappointment or failure. Our job is to encourage, assist and support them through disappointment, not to help them avoid the experience altogether.

With that in mind, I said, “Doug, 
that is an exciting and challenging dream you have! Darlene and I will do all we can 
to help you work towards it!”

And with that sort of mindset, on the way home I thought of how we can start to support him as he works toward meeting his goal. We can begin with the easiest section–on traffic signs, 
reading the short labels that describe them. And at the same time that we can 
continue to teach him at his developmental level, from his grade one books, “Bread for the Ducklings” and 
“Tasha Rides a Bike!”

Good luck! I think your students are very lucky to have you as a teacher!

QUESTION:

I have an ADHD student in my class who takes up at least a third of my time. I’m not sure if this would be part of the DwStress approach, but I have decided that from now on he will go to the In-School Discipline Room whenever he is disrupting my class. I feel that the essays and self-referrals are not working and that the best thing for the REST of my students is to get this child out of the room when he is disruptive.

DR. MARSHALL’S RESPONSE:

EXACTLY! It is simply not fair to other students or parents to allow this student to disrupt everyone else’s learning. His staying in your class is CONTINGENT upon his acting on Level C.

Here is a suggestion of how to handle this situation:

Let him know that you only have students in your class who want to be VICTORS. He is being a VICTIM because he allows his impulses to direct him. Let him know that you want to help him. Figure out a procedure he can rely on when his impulses take over.

You may need to make some suggestions–but it’s better if the procedure comes from him. Have him practice the procedure by imagining different situations when his impulses might take over. Ask him to explain how he could redirect impulses in each situation using his new procedure.

When he acts out, take a post-it or an Impulse Card and put it on his desk so it is plainly visible to him. Let him know that this is his “victim awareness notification”.

Inform him that if he acts on Levels A or B again, he is letting his impulses direct him, that he is allowing himself to be a victim, and that he will be allowed back in the classroom when he can demonstrate better behavior. Then send him to a supervised area of the school such as a detention room, a discipline room or the office.

If he comes back later in the day, ask him what procedure he is planning to use to avoid being a victim again.

Repeat this process as often as necessary–even if it is daily.

Always encourage him: “I know you can do it, but it is your choice to decide. To be a member of this classroom you cannot take time away from other students’ learning through anarchy and bullying. It’s not acceptable. I’d like you to stay, but the choice is yours.”

Persevere and be prepared to repeat this many times–always letting him know that you would like him to stay, but HE makes that decision.

Your message to him is that you simply do not believe he cannot act on Level C.

I have used DWS for about five or six years now and plan to continue to do so in the fall with my new Grade 3 class. I will be getting a student with Asperger’s Syndrome, who has a full time E.A. From what I understand, much of his day is based on rewards of some kind, such as time on the computer. If you have used the levels of responsibility with a student who is extremely emotional, yet quite high functioning, please post your ideas and advice.

REPSONSES from members of the DwStress mailring:

“Is it Level D if you need rewards in order to do your best work or to work without bothering others?”
(Of course not.)

Robin

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QUESTION:

I have a 3rd grade student who is demonstrating increasingly 
disruptive behaviors. I have all kinds 
of support with him – my principal, school counselor, 
behavioral specialist – we’re all involved, every day. This boy can work elsewhere when he can’t manage in the classroom. My question is this: How do I 
teach the other students that it’s better for them to 
ignore this student’s behavior than to be an audience or worse yet, play along? I need some “choice 
words” to really explain it and underscore the importance of this.

They did a great job today and I complimented 
them on doing so after the student had been removed from the room. A couple of them asked me individually why that student wasn’t with us and I told them that when behaviors 
interrupt everyone’s learning time, it can’t be permitted to go on and that the student was with the principal. Any advice/good words to use?

RESPONSE:

For situations like this, I find a discussion centered around the understandings 
of Marvin Marshall’s Discipline Without Stress HIERARCHY to be invaluable. Even 
though you may not be familiar with Marshall’s approach, I think I could explain 
the basics of it enough for you to be able to use it in your current situation. You wanted some “choice” words to use. One of 
the principles that forms the basis of this approach is helping kids understand 
that all personal behavior is a choice.

In a nutshell, Marshall’s approach fosters SELF-discipline. This is exactly what I 
imagine you are hoping your students will develop with respect to managing 
their own behavior when faced with a classmate who is 
displaying very little self-discipline.

Marshall’s Hierarchy has four levels of personal/social development: 
Levels A, B, C, D.

Levels A (Anarchy) and B (Bossing/Bullying) describe unacceptable behavior in 
any situation.

Just as an example, 
currently your disruptive student is often choosing to operate (either consciously or non-consciously,) at these lower levels of A 
and B. In other words, he is not in control of himself and relies 
on an adult to take control of his behavior most of the time. Just as you 
explained to students in your class, whenever a person can’t manage their 
own behavior in an acceptable manner, then the adult has to take over and 
manage their behavior for them. In your case, the adults in the school have sometimes 
found it necessary to remove this child from the room in order to preserve the 
learning environment for all the other students. It’s only fair that the other 
students have the opportunity to learn in an orderly, safe classroom.

Here’s an important point from Marshall’s program for students to 
understand:

All behavior is a personal CHOICE. If any of them were to follow along and 
misbehave–by copying a disruptive student or even by just giving encouragement as an appreciative audience–they too would be CHOOSING to 
operate at a lower level than acceptable.

In discussing the situation, you would also talk about the other two levels, C 
(Cooperation) and D (Democracy), which describe HIGHER levels of 
personal and social development. Level C is acceptable. But then there is Level 
D, which describes something even higher than acceptable. You might think of 
it as exceptional, although Marshall doesn’t use that exact description in his program.

DwStress teachers use the Hierarchy to help students understand self-discipline. The key to the approach is to explain ALL the levels to students but focus 
especially on some important understandings related to the highest two levels, 
C and D.

The difference between Level C and D (that is, between acceptable and 
exceptional behavior), can be explained in terms of motivation:

At Level C, a student is motivated EXTERNALLY to behave themselves by 
cooperating, and by willingly conforming to the expectations of the adult—AS 
LONG AS THE ADULT IS PRESENT. In your situation, this would describe 
students who can manage themselves appropriately in the classroom (even 
though one child is being incredibly disruptive in front of them,) whenever they 
notice the teacher is nearby or directly looking their way.

This level is higher than Level B because (at least when the teacher is present 
and is watching,) the child operating at Level C is self-disciplined enough to do 
the right thing. Their motivation is external however. They are motivated to do the right 
thing, perhaps to please their teacher or because they realize that to do 
anything disruptive would only lead to getting into trouble themselves.

Level C is the expected level of behaviour in the classroom in Marshall’s system 
of discipline. It is the level of obedience. In all other discipline systems 
that I’ve seen, this level is considered the highest level of behavior, but not so 
in Marshall’s approach. Having a higher-than-acceptable level is what makes 
Discipline Without Stress unique.

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Level D is the level of taking responsibility for yourself. It is the level of SELF-
discipline. It is the level of doing the right thing simply because it is the right 
thing to do. In other words, students operating at Level D think for themselves. 
They consciously make CHOICES for themselves with the understanding that all 
behavior is a personal choice.

You might think of Level D as the level of following your own conscience. When 
operating from this highest level, a student does the right thing regardless of 
whether or not an adult is present. In your situation, this describes a student who 
notices that a fellow student has chosen to behave in inappropriate ways and yet 
is not influenced to follow along–whether the teacher is watching or not.

They decide for themselves that following along or giving encouragement to the 
disruptive student would only mean that their own behaviour was no better off 
than that of the disruptive student–they would no longer be in control of 
themselves – in fact, they would be ALLOWING THE DISRUPTIVE STUDENT TO BE IN CONTROL OF THEM.

When you complimented your class on being able to manage themselves when 
one student was losing control, you were actually acknowledging that they were 
either on Level C or D of Marshall’s Hierarchy. The interesting thing is that Level 
C and D behaviour usually looks identical to anyone watching. The only 
difference between these two levels is in WHY the person is MOTIVATED to act 
correctly.

Some of your students would have been on Level C—they were motivated to act 
appropriately because your presence motivated them 
(externally) to behave themselves. This is acceptable but it’s not the highest 
level of behaviour.

Some would likely have been operating on the higher level, Level D. They simply 
knew inside themselves that to follow or encourage the disruptive student would 
be inappropriate. In other words they were INTERNALLY motivated.They 
wouldn’t have followed along with or acted inappropriately–even if they 
were all alone in the room with him.

Here’s the conversation I have had with 
previous classes in similar situations.

Just as you did, when it came up, I would be quite candid in discussing that ____ is sometimes working elsewhere in the school. Just as you did, I would 
explain that his behavior is out of control at the moment and that he is 
showing little self-discipline. I would ask someone in the class to identify the 
Hierarchy level of this type of disruptive behavior. Any child in the class would 
be able to correctly identify it as either Level A or B. Then I would ask them to 
tell me what happens when someone chooses to operate at an unacceptable 
level–to the point where it interferes with other people’s learning. Someone 
would say that when a student continually operates at Level B, a teacher has to 
take over. A teacher has to be the boss and tell the person what to do.

I would agree and say that yes, that is what the current situation is. ____ 
has such little self-discipline at the moment, that the adults have decided that 
he needs to work somewhere else in the school so that others can still learn and 
he can be helped to learn some self-discipline. Hopefully, with some help, ____ 
will soon learn to control himself enough to be able to rejoin the class in an 
acceptable manner. Then he too, will be able to move forward in his schooling.

Then I would initiate a discussion about the behavior of EVERYONE ELSE in this 
situation. I would talk about how we all have a personal choice in how we 
respond to ____ and his lack of self-discipline. I would ask them to imagine 
some scenarios.

For example, I would say:

What if someone chose to follow along and copy ____? What level would that 
be? (B)

What if someone chose to encourage ____ by laughing or making other 
comments (B)

Would a person who chose to encourage ____, or be influenced into following ____, be self-disciplinedthemselves?

I would talk about how some people in this situation might follow or encourage 
____, thinking that it was ____’S FAULT that they were misbehaving. I would 
make sure that everyone understood that ____’s behaviour can only influence 
our own, if we allow that and if we have no self-discipline ourselves.

Then I would move to discussing higher level behavior, Level C and D. I would 
first get them to describe behavior at each of these levels. They would explain that at Level C, a student watching ____ and 
his antics, wouldn’t follow or encourage ____ because they see the teacher in 
the room and know that it wouldn’t be a good idea to act like ____ because then 
they’d be in trouble too.

I’d say, yes, that’s true. Level C is acceptable behaviour. They would be able to 
manage their own response to ____ because they’d be smart enough not to do 
something inappropriate themselves WITH A TEACHER WATCHING. We’d talk 
about how they were doing the right thing, but that they were relying on the 
presence of the teacher to influence them in how they chose to behave. The 
result would be that classroom atmosphere would remain fairly calm and we’d 
be helping ____ too because he would see what self-discipline looks like in the 
rest of us.

Then I’d remind them that both Level C and D are acceptable and I would ask 
them this:

If Level C is acceptable, how is Level D higher?

Then some child would be able to explain in their own words that Level D is 
higher because the person at Level D wouldn’t be influenced by ____’s antics–
EVEN IF THE TEACHER WASN’T WATCHING or even if the teacher wasn’t in the 
room at all. Regardless of whether the teacher was in the room or not, they 
wouldn’t follow or encourage misbehavior, simply because they know that that’s the 
right thing to do. They wouldn’t want to encourage ____ to act up because they 
would know that wasn’t helping ____. They wouldn’t follow ____because 
they wouldn’t want to sink to Level B behavior themselves.

Then we’d talk about the benefits of being self-disciplined and being internally 
motivated to do the right thing simply because it’s the right thing to do in the 
situation. We’d talk about HOW GOOD IT FEELS to be in control of yourself. 
We’d talk about how people who are self-disciplined can respect themselves. 
When people often operate at a high level, they understand that to sink down to 
a lower level and follow someone else’s misbehavior means that they would be part of the 
problem. What self-respecting person wants to think of themselves as a 
problem! It FEELS GOOD to respect yourself and think highly of your own 
behavior. Operating at Level D allows you to take great pride in yourself.

As I said, I have had this exact same discussion with my own class in previous 
years and I have many similar discussions EVERY DAY about the benefits of 
operating at a high level; about exactly what it looks like to operate on a high 
level in ordinary everyday situations.

Although this might sound as if it would be above the heads of primary 
students, it isn’t at all. I teach Kindergarten and grade one. I simply 
use vocabulary that young children will understand to get the points across.

Although this way of thinking about behavior and self-discipline is very new to 
most teachers, I sense from your question that you are already thinking along these 
same lines. I hope my own experiences with fostering self-discipline through 
Marvin Marshall’s Discipline Without Stress will be of value to you!

In the beginning of the year, Casey was able to do many of the academic assignments given to our regular students but lately he has been unable to keep up with the pace of learning that is suitable for all the others in the class. Although we have modified our expectations for him and have created an individualized program that would better suit his academic needs, he is quite aware that he’s no longer able to do the same tasks as the other children. He knows he can’t keep up, and sadly this has led to strong feelings of frustration and inadequacy for Casey.

Over the past several weeks Casey has started to make a lot of noises during lessons and sometimes he even refuses to do what is asked of him. Sitting as he does, in the front of the room (in a spot he chose last June), this kind of behavior causes disturbances that hampers the learning of others. So, a couple of days ago, Darlene asked Casey to stay in at lunch for a private discussion.

She asked him to identify his level of operation during lesson times. He said he was on Level A because his noises were loud. Probably WE would say he was operating on Level B, not quite as low as A, but this is an example of a time where it wouldn’t have been productive to quibble about the exact level. Level A or B – it really doesn’t matter in this case–both are unacceptable–and that is the important point.

Then Darlene asked Casey WHO he wanted to be in charge of him–himself or her? Who did he want to have power over him? He quickly said that he wanted to have power over himself. She then explained to him that if a person operates on the lower two levels they are giving their power away to someone else. A teacher responding to Level A or B behavior, has to take over and be the boss—the teacher ends up in charge. That’s how Levels A and B work.

Darlene then honestly told Casey that she couldn’t have a person who is setting a poor example by making noises and refusing to do his work, sit at the front of the room. She explained that the other children might think this was okay. As well, she said that she found that when someone was making noises right near her, she felt distracted in her teaching and so couldn’t give a good lesson.

Sadly, she asked him to consider what should have to happen if he continued to operate on a low level? Well, even he could see there was only one option–he’d have to move to a desk in the back of the room. She asked him if he thought he could have power over himself–or would SHE need to take control of him? He said that he could do it himself–and he did! He’s been cooperative and attentive for the last two days.

She expressed with some regret that the Ministry wouldn’t consider allowing her to take on the role of a regular foster parent, instead of what she does now. She explained that now that she was 55 and nearing the end of her working career, she really wanted to change the occupational focus that she’d held for many years. Instead of taking in a series of teenagers for short periods of times–to stabilize them–she wanted instead to be able to have just one teen stay with her for an extended period of time.

Although she knew that her specialized job was important, she wanted the opportunity to have what she felt would be a more personally satisfying experience. She wanted to be able to get to know one child well, by way of a more permanent and long term relationship.

When I asked her why the Ministry wouldn’t allow her to do this, she said that it was because they had so few people who were able to do the work that she does. Her job is to settle these difficult teens down, enabling them to function in a regular foster family situation. She said she is very successful at what she does and the Ministry is desperate for her to continue her work with these extremely challenged youths.

Intrigued, I asked her to tell me her secret. What was it about her method of working and living with these difficult youths that seemed to work miracles? She said that many people have asked her this same question and that over the years, the best way that she had found to describe her approach was as follows:

She said that in her mind, she chooses to think of these disturbed young people as “aliens” who have come from another planet. She pictures them as beings newly arrived on earth—with no idea of how this world works. She treats them as she would treat any foreign visitor to her home.

She holds no preconceived notions that they should know anything at all about “Earth culture and customs”—after all they’ve just arrived here! She treats them with great respect and extreme politeness, realizing that they know nothing of her culture and are sure to make some social errors while visiting.

She never raises her voice and is never critical—she doesn’t want to offend her special guests. If they make a mistake, she simply and patiently excuses their faux pas and then calmly explains to them what it is they should do if the same situation comes up again in the future. She takes great care to neither offend or embarrass them. She considers it her job to patiently educate them about things that we do here on Earth so that they can learn to live successfully in a culture where the customs are so entirely unfamiliar to them.

As an example, she told me about the young girl who is currently living with her. The girl arrived home one day–just after my friend had washed the kitchen floor. The girl didn’t take her dirty shoes off at the door and instead tramped mud right across the entire kitchen floor on her way to the fridge. My friend didn’t get mad. She simply described the situation as she had observed it and noted the resulting consequences of the girl’s actions:

“When people walk across the floor in muddy shoes, it means that I must rewash the floor and that’s going to take me a bit of time. Perhaps, the next time you come in from outdoors, you might try to remember to leave your shoes at the door. That would really help me a lot.” Then she said that she had smiled but said nothing more. She simply went to the closet, brought out the bucket again and rewashed the muddy floor.

She told me that if she treats EVERY SINGLE INCIDENT of misbehavior, in this calm and very respectful way, she has found that her teenage foster children soon begin to act appropriately–all of their own accord. Rather than complaining, showing anger or meting out punishments, she just explains to her “alien visitors” what would be the right or helpful “Earthling way” to handle a similar situation in the future.

All I could think was “Wow!” This calm lady has it all figured out! I thought that her approach to working with young people was very much like the philosophy of DISCIPLINE without STRESS. She instinctively knows that the most effective way to work with misbehavior is to simply view it as “an opportunity to teach and to learn.” This lady showed me the power of a calm, patient and positive approach to misbehavior.

RESPONSE:
There shouldn’t be any need for you to abandon the DWS approach in your classroom, despite the fact that the addition of this low-functioning student will likely provide both you and the other children with some new challenges. Because your students are familiar with the levels of social development, as outlined in the DWS Hierarchy, don’t be surprised if you find that the addition of this child to the class will go more smoothly than it otherwise might. You and your students already have a common language for dealing with behavior and some common understandings about what is an acceptable level of behavior in the classroom.

Prior to the new child’s first day of attendance, you might plan to hold a classroom meeting to discuss her special needs. (Sometimes counselors or specialists can be called in to assist you with this task.) If handled in a positive way, your kindergarteners can be helped to understand that their new classmate may have some difficulty living up to the behavior expectations that you hold for the rest of the class. Help them to understand and accept that at times, the new student may need to be treated differently than the other children. They need to understand that this new child is essentially a toddler in a “Kindergarten-size body”.

Using the hierarchy and a variety of hypothetical situations, it would be proactive to discuss how the children can be supportive of your new student. For instance, have them imagine times when this child might need particular help or consideration–-perhaps snack time, playtime, field trips, washroom visits, recess etc. Use role-play to allow students an opportunity to learn how to deal with a friend who has special needs in an appropriate and respectful way. Teach them how to ask for adult assistance, should it be necessary.

A class meeting such as this is also the perfect time to reinforce a critical concept of DWS: Every student is responsible for THEIR OWN CHOICES and actions, regardless of the behaviour of someone else. Someone else’s misbehaviour is never an excuse for lowering one’s own standard of behaviour. As part of your hierarchy discussion, you can encourage the students to act as role models for this “younger” child.

In my experience, with this kind of a discussion, most children–even those as young as kindergarten age–will act kindly towards special needs students and be willing to treat them with respect and tolerance. Youngsters enjoy assisting others who need help from them.

If you expect a mature attitude from your students with regard to any inappropriate behavior that this new child might possibly exhibit, you may very well find that your students live up to your expectations. Explain that this is an opportunity for them to act as leaders in a “grown-up” way.