What is the best way to explain the difference between internal and external motivation––in other words, the difference between DWS Levels C and D?  I am having trouble with this.

RESPONSE:

Initially I use very concrete examples connected directly to the classroom.

I describe Level C as the level where students do the right thing––what’s expected of them by the teacher––because the teacher is clearly expecting them to do it.

Some simple examples:

• The student will pick up toys off the floor when they are asked.

• The student will walk quietly in the hallway when a teacher is supervising.

• The student will clean up a mess he/she has made when they know an adult is near enough to notice the situation.

The main point is this:  At Level C, persons always need something outside of themselves to motivate them to act correctly.

Level C is okay––but but there is a higher level.

Level D, the highest level, has a different feel to it.   Level D is even higher than Level C because the person has a different reason for doing what they do.  He/She does the right thing because they want to do the right thing––because they choose to do the right thing.

As the school year progresses, I also start discussing the following concepts:

• On the outside, (if someone happened to be observing the situation,) Level D looks just like Level C.  As an example, at Level C a person walks appropriately in the hallway and at Level D a person also walks appropriately in the hallway.  The difference is not on the outside.  The difference is on the inside of the person.  At Level D, people don’t need anyone outside of themselves to make them walk appropriately or even influence them to walk appropriately. At Level D, people CHOOSE to walk appropriately in the hallway, simply because they know it’s the expected and reasonable thing to do. They don’t want to hurt anyone accidentally or disturb classroom proceedings, so they walk rather than run, and walk quietly rather than create unnecessary noise.  Whether an observer is present or not, they choose to do the appropriate thing––they choose to walk quietly.

• Only people themselves can know if they are at Level C or Level D. How do they know? They feel it!  Level C doesn’t feel particularly special inside. It’s just an ordinary feeling inside.  In contrast, conscious awareness of Level D feels wonderful inside.  It feels satisfying. When you choose to act on Level D, you feel proud of yourself. You feel capable. You feel a warmth in your heart, right inside of you.  This feeling is telling you that you’re doing the right thing because you WANT to. You feel powerful because you are doing the right thing BY CHOICE!

After first reading Marv’s DWS book more than ten years ago, I started to become conscious of the importance of deliberately planning for “choice” in my teaching.   Certainly, as I took on a job at a local Alternate High School six years ago––working one-on-one with sullen, illiterate and often, ashamed teenagers––providing choice was a major consideration in any lesson.  There, the first choice always offered was simply “Would you be interested in a reading lesson today?”  Darlene, my teaching partner, and I quickly (and painfully) learned that without at least some tiny initial buy-in from these students, we were going nowhere fast––and it wasn’t gonna to be pretty!

Now this year, back in Kindergarten full time, choice is still an important consideration.  Like others who use DWS, whenever possible I try to ensure my Kindergarten students have choices when we do projects, play games or have story time.  In discipline situations I try not to back any child into a corner and instead endeavour to make sure they feel they have some freedom of choice with regard to their own behaviour and its consequences.  Yet, the most powerful teaching experience I’ve ever had with “choice” wasn’t planned at all.  It developed gradually over a period of about 3 months and all quite unintentionally.  I’d like to tell you about it!

Although the Kindergarten mandate in my province is to provide a play-based learning environment, just before Christmas I realized that a couple of students were ready for more formal reading instruction.  They already knew all their alphabet sounds, they could automatically and correctly write a letter symbol for each sound and their oral phonemic awareness skills were excellent.  One child, Mary, was especially eager; I decided to start with her.

Although I’ve taught nearly 300 grade one students to read in a regular grade one classroom setting, I’ve never before taught a Kindergarten student to read within a play-based environment.  The main reason I chose to move to full day K when Darlene retired last June was to be able to continue to develop the beginning reading program we created in our grade one classroom and used successfully with older struggling readers in the alternate school system in our district.

Although I had a pretty good idea of how I wanted to approach reading instruction in Kindergarten when I started in September, this year is an experimental one for me.  I’m testing out ideas, lesson formats and activities in order to find out which might work best, and in which sequence.  Currently, many First Nations students in our province are not successfully learning to read well over the course of their schooling.  I want to do my best to provide good beginning reading instruction for all my 14 students, but I’m especially concerned that 11 of them are already statistically at-risk––even before they start!

Over the Christmas holiday, I considered how I might go about teaching, first Mary, and then eventually others, to learn to read.  Since I personally find individualized instruction more productive than small group work, I knew I wanted to keep each child’s learnings recorded in some individual way, for their own reference.  I debated how best to do this and finally decided to use a notebook. But I wanted this notebook to be different than the others we use in Kindergarten––I wanted it to be somewhat special.  After all, learning to read is very exciting!  The dollar store had a sturdy black notebook for sale so I bought a few and taped a name tag on for Mary.

In my school, eating times are supervised by teachers.  The procedure I’ve taught is that after eating and cleaning up lunch things, students are to get organized back at their table spot for “Book Look” time.  I spotted an opportunity to begin working with Mary on her own because it just happens that she typically eats her lunch more quickly than all the other children.  When I quietly suggested that we could use the remainder of eating time to start learning to read, she was all smiles.  I showed her the notebook and we began.  Each following day after her lunch, Mary and I would spend five minutes or so to practice the words and sentences in her “Key Book.”  Then we would add a new phonetic pattern that would allow her to tackle more words.  Because Mary is so keen on learning to read, it’s a delight to work with her.  We have a lot of fun together!

Lunchtime seating in my class is determined by small named placemats.  As students wash their hands, I put out plastic placemats at three tables.  Because I move the mats around––to different tables, with different companions––each day Mary sat with a new group of children.  As others at her table wondered aloud what the two of us were doing, I would explain and invite them to listen in to Mary’s reading lesson if they were interested.  Eventually, the two students who were near ready to read themselves, asked if they could have a reading lesson––just like Mary.  Happily, I was able to show them that I had already purchased Key Books for them too.  Since they were interested, I could certainly give them a little lesson.

Things progressed well and I went back to the dollar store several times to buy more black notebooks. Every couple of weeks, another child would ask if they too could have a reading lesson.  Generally students didn’t seem to ask to be taught to read until they had acquired a certain skill level with phonemic awareness and alphabet sounds.  This was perfect!  Our Book Look times just naturally started to increase in length.  More and more kids automatically started to go to the bin and retrieve their Key book when they finished their lunches. Without any suggestion from me, they would practice reading the familiar pages, while waiting for a turn with me to add the next concept to their books. Then one child had a new idea.  Each day after reading, he began getting a pencil to spell three letter words, write the names of classmates and copy favorite words from book titles into his own notebook.  Soon that idea caught on too and I developed a procedure; pages on which I taught reading concepts were just for the teacher, any other empty page could hold student writing.

Eventually though, a couple of students who did not have the necessary foundational skills to easily learn to read began to ask if they could also have lessons with a Key Book.  My heart fell as the first thought to cross my mind was “But you’re not ready yet.  This will be too hard for you!”  Luckily, biting my tongue (as a result of diligent practice with DWS Principle, Positivity) saved me!  Instead of blurting out my first (and very negative) thought, I forced a bright smile and said (without a lot of inner confidence,) “Sure!  Any student who wants to learn to read can do so!”   What else could I say?

But then, pretty quickly, I remembered that years ago I went to individualized instruction for a reason!  My less ready students did not yet have the ability to actually blend letters into words to read but I could have them practice more basic skills that would move them to that point.  I could use their Key Books to review alphabet sounds.  They didn’t need to know that others in the class were working on more advanced skills.  To date, 12 of my 14 students have Key Books and two students have not yet asked for them.  Not surprisingly these are the two students that I have recommended to my principal as candidates for another year in Kindergarten.

Here’s what I experienced first hand this year:  When learning to read is a choice, motivation is high.  When motivation is high, every lesson is welcomed.  When lessons are welcomed, learning fuels further motivation.  This experience may have developed accidentally for me this year, but next year I will deliberately plan to make learning to read a “choice!”

Who should make the procedures?  Is this something the teacher dictates or something the kids come up with?  For example, I have been thinking about how I want to teach my first grade class to “turn and talk.”

I want them to:

• Find someone who is nearby (rather than go across the room to find a friend.)
• Politely say yes if someone asks, “Will you be my partner?” (To avoid hurt feelings.)
• Turn their bodies to face each other (sitting “criss-cross applesauce.”)
• Figure out who will talk first. (Not sure how we’ll do this––I need to think more about it.)

Then:

• The person who is talking first will raise a hand.
• Once I see every group has a hand raised I will tell them to begin.  (I am hoping that after a while they will be able to just turn and talk without me intervening at all.)

Is it okay for me to just tell them this set of procedures or is it important that the students to come up with their own?

RESPONSE:

You seem to have a pretty clear picture of how you want your students to operate in this situation. You understand that when students have an exact set of procedures to follow, they  1) won’t waste any time in getting started and,  2) will be empowered to stay on task.

Think about whether or not (in any particular situation or activity) you are willing to negotiate your procedures.  If you are, you could involve the students if you want.  If you’re not, simply teach the procedures you know will work well.  Dr. Marshall explains that it is the teacher’s responsibility to plan procedures. You’re the one with the training, so you make the decisions about how your classroom will operate.

Although in the DWS approach expectations/standards are used instead of classroom rules, the question you pose (and the situation you describe,) is similar to the situation a teacher faces when involving students in formulating classroom rules. By asking students to suggest rules, teachers unwittingly put themselves in the position of asking for student suggestions––but not being willing to accept those that are ineffective. Do most teachers sincerely intend to give their students the freedom to make the rules of the classroom?  In most cases, teachers simply manipulate the conversation so that students are led to the rules the teacher had in mind anyway––prior to the discussion.  What if a child comes up with a ridiculous “rule” (as young children sometimes do.)  Could a teacher accept it?  No, of course not.

So if you’re not really planning to accept something that doesn’t match with what you already have in your head, why involve the students?  Involve students in decisions and choices that truly can be theirs.

A related post:

When might students be involved in creating procedures?

You may remember that in the early pages of the DWS book, Dr. Marshall mentions Victor Frankl.  Dr. Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, dramatically demonstrated through his own actions and attitudes while imprisoned in WWII concentration camps that people (whether they realize it or not,) always have the power to choose their own thoughts and perspectives on life––regardless of the situation in which they find themselves.

Teaching this concept of “choice-response thinking” to young people is at the core of the DWS approach.  Realizing that each of us always has a choice in how we behave and learn––regardless of the situation, the stimulus or the urge to act on an impulse––is one of the key understandings that students need in order to take full advantage of the DWS Hierarchy.  Level D derives its power from the fact that it is a voluntary level; it can never be forced.

Dr. Frankl lectures on another concept closely related to teaching and DWS-–-that of believing in the goodness and greatness of every student, despite the current level of behavior that he/she might be displaying.

I found Frankl’s thinking on this subject to be not only inspiring but very logical too.  It makes sense to believe in others!

The blackboard diagram he draws near the end of the clip, gave me a visual that I intend to bring to mind when I encounter challenging situations with my students.  You might find it useful in calming and directing your mind too.  We, as teachers, also have choices to make!

I want to make an banner for my room.  Do you have a good quote that would encourage students to make good choices?

DR. MARSHALL’S RESPONSE:

Here’s one I used in my classes:

Responsibility finds a way.

Irresponsibility finds excuses.

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This past Monday morning when it was time to go to the gym for our regular Monday morning assembly, Cody had a photograph that a parent must  have given him outside; likely it was a snapshot of a birthday party that he had attended recently.  Being focused on the urgency I felt about getting to the assembly on time, I didn’t notice how much this photo seemed to have captured Cody’s attention.  As a result I got myself into a power struggle with him over putting it away.  I’m embarrassed to say it just got worse and worse!  Eventually it came to a point where I (stupidly) said that he couldn’t take the photo to the gym and from there, the situation really went downhill!

In hindsight, it would have been much smarter to spend just one moment longer to look at the photo with him, admire it, share his pleasure and then make the suggestion that it would be a wise move to put such a precious photo safely into a backpack.  But as they say, hindsight is 20/20!

Angry that I had told him to put the photo away, Cody refused to come to the gym.  To drive the point home, with great determination he ripped up his precious photo in my face.  Thanks to DWS, I was able to send the other kids off to the gym unescorted, explaining: Cody really needs me to talk to him right now. Do you think you can make it to the gym on Level D, all by yourselves?”

I asked Cody, “Who did you hurt by ripping up your photo?”  At first he said, “You made me do it!  It’s your fault!”  I ignored this and asked again:  “Who have you hurt by ripping up your nice picture?”    Well,  we went around in circles for a bit, but a moment later when I elaborated (“Who have you really hurt here?  Who’s the person who really cares about this picture?  Me or you?”) I saw a click happen in his brain.

He suddenly realized that indeed, he was the one who had been hurt by his actions––his picture was destroyed.  He became sullenly silent and started to walk with me to the gym.  When we got there he saw an opportunity to be uncooperative and said, “I’m not going in.  I’m going to stay right out here in the hall.”

Rather than get into another power struggle I said, “I can’t make you come in but I can’t leave you out here by yourself either.  I want to go in because I know the Grade 6′s are singing today and I want to see them.  I’ll just ask Mrs. Smith (an aide) to come and stand with you.”  Well, I’d piqued his curiosity with talk of the singing; he decided he would come in.

But before we got down the four stairs into the gym, he said to me,  “I’m not going to sit with the class.  I’m going to sit by you.”  So we stopped right there at the front of the gym and I said,  “I can’t make you sit with the rest of the kids, but you should know that if you sit beside me, away from the other kids in Grade One, all the people in the gym are going to be looking at you.  They’re going to wonder why you’re sitting with your teacher instead of with your class.  Is that what you want?”

Undaunted and still feeling contrary he said, “Well, I am going to sit with the class but I’m going to curl up in a ball on the floor,” to which it was easy to reply.

“I can’t make you sit up like all the other kids but if you curl up in a ball then everyone is really going to be looking at you and wondering what you’re doing––because that’s quite an unusual thing to do.”  He didn’t say anything more and just went to sit down––upright and in his proper place.

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Here’s what I learned that day:

1. It’s important to take time to give genuine personal attention to a child who needs it in the moment, and;

2. There’s great value in responding calmly to a child who is angry––by pointing out choices and asking reflective questions.

She recently asked me the question posted below and I share my response here because it includes an explanation of how this discipline approach can be used to help children take responsibility for their own behavior by understanding the concept of CHOICE-RESPONSE THINKING. In other words, as humans, we have the ability to consciously choose our behavior, so therefore, we also always have a choice in how we respond to any situation or stimulus or impulse.

Whereas most conventional discipline approaches–typically based on external motivation–rely on OVERPOWERING or DISEMPOWERING students who choose to misbehave, an approach based on internal motivation has a different goal; to EMPOWER a child to take charge of their own behavior. This makes discipline far more positive. As well, over time, DWS offers many valuable understandings to the students–understandings that are totally bypassed when a teacher is focused primarily on just stopping misbehavior immediately, with either the quick promise of a reward or the threat of a slight punishment.

Here’s that question I was asked …

QUESTION:
Do your parent volunteers bring babies, toddlers and preschoolers with them when they volunteer during your Whole School Read? If so, how do you deal with these little children in the room when your class is trying to read?

MY RESPONSE:
Sometimes we do have younger siblings join us when their parents come in to volunteer for the half hour of reading. When we do, we make toys available but it’s the parent’s job to get them out etc. Sometimes, it’s actually a bonus if we have a preschooler or toddler who loves stories and will sit still and listen. It provides an audience for the grade ones — then it works out really well! Sometimes an older baby is content to sit in a stroller with their own toys, near their mom who is helping.

Sometimes though, a younger child CAN BE a bit of a problem but then we use our discipline system to deal with it. Just to be clear, we use our discipline approach to deal with our grade ones–not the disruptive toddlers who are simply doing what toddlers naturally and joyfully do!

Such a situation gives us the perfect opportunity to talk about self-discipline. That’s one of the first suggestions of this approach: view problems as opportunities to teach and learn! We use Marvin Marshall’s Discipline without Stress, Punishments or Rewards which is all about fostering SELF-discipline. We really focus on this; it’s quietly woven into every subject and activity. We think of this program as a gift really. What better gift could you give a child than starting them down the path towards becoming self-disciplined in their lives?

DWS is based on teaching a Hierarchy of four levels that can be used to discuss personal and social responsibility. It’s too much to explain it all here but the article, Using a Discipline System to Promote Learning would give you an overview.

To deal with the situation you asked about, we have a discussion with our grade ones using the four levels of Marshall’s Hierarchy. We focus on the two highest levels, both of which are acceptable levels of behavior in the classroom.

We talk about the need for SELF-control when someone younger can’t manage (or appears to be having a great time playing with toys during our lesson time!)

In other words, regardless of the fact that there is:

• someone having a playtime while WE’re reading,

• baby “babble” in the room,

• a younger child moving around a bit too quickly, or;

• a toddler eating a snack that looks quite good! etc.,

WE can still be in control of ourselves and make good use of our reading practice time ANYWAY. Our Whole School Read is one of the most important learning times of our day and so it’s important to stay focused and use our time wisely. In fact, it’s our job to use our school time to learn. Our playtimes, snack times and free times come later in the day–not first thing in the morning!

Referring to the four levels of the Hierarchy, we help our students to understand that a person who lowers their own behavior when young children and babies are in the room, is in effect deciding to choose a very young level of maturity themselves.

Viewed in this light, misbehavior doesn’t look very attractive! Students are keen to display a high level of maturity because all of us (at any age,) want to feel capable and in control of ourselves. Even someone as young as grade one would like to consider themselves grown-up–certainly grown up enough to manage better than a cranky baby or slightly out-of-control two year old.

We finish the conversation by reviewing that all behaviour is a CHOICE. We can CHOOSE to act with self-discipline–even in situations that aren’t perfect. We can CHOOSE not to be distracted by small things. We can CHOOSE to “do the right thing, simply because it’s the right thing to do” which, in a nutshell, sums up the focus of Marvin Marshall’s discipline program.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

It struck me that this poem sums up why I love teaching with the Discipline without Stress approach so much!  DWS allows me to help kids understand that there is always “another street” in life––so why not take it?  We don’t have to keep falling in that same hole in the sidewalk day after day, year after year.  There’s a choice! If we want to, we can choose a different path.

While Portia seems to have suffered more than half of her lifetime before learning about choice-response thinking, we don’t have to! Every day, we can choose to become more conscious about the things we say, the decisions we make, and the actions we take. In so doing, we can end up with very different results; ones that we really want, and ones that don’t include unnecessary suffering!

QUESTION:

I have a 3rd grade student who is demonstrating increasingly 
disruptive behaviors. I have all kinds 
of support with him – my principal, school counselor, 
behavioral specialist – we’re all involved, every day. This boy can work elsewhere when he can’t manage in the classroom. My question is this: How do I 
teach the other students that it’s better for them to 
ignore this student’s behavior than to be an audience or worse yet, play along? I need some “choice 
words” to really explain it and underscore the importance of this.

They did a great job today and I complimented 
them on doing so after the student had been removed from the room. A couple of them asked me individually why that student wasn’t with us and I told them that when behaviors 
interrupt everyone’s learning time, it can’t be permitted to go on and that the student was with the principal. Any advice/good words to use?

RESPONSE:

For situations like this, I find a discussion centered around the understandings 
of Marvin Marshall’s Discipline Without Stress HIERARCHY to be invaluable. Even 
though you may not be familiar with Marshall’s approach, I think I could explain 
the basics of it enough for you to be able to use it in your current situation. You wanted some “choice” words to use. One of 
the principles that forms the basis of this approach is helping kids understand 
that all personal behavior is a choice.

In a nutshell, Marshall’s approach fosters SELF-discipline. This is exactly what I 
imagine you are hoping your students will develop with respect to managing 
their own behavior when faced with a classmate who is 
displaying very little self-discipline.

Marshall’s Hierarchy has four levels of personal/social development: 
Levels A, B, C, D.

Levels A (Anarchy) and B (Bossing/Bullying) describe unacceptable behavior in 
any situation.

Just as an example, 
currently your disruptive student is often choosing to operate (either consciously or non-consciously,) at these lower levels of A 
and B. In other words, he is not in control of himself and relies 
on an adult to take control of his behavior most of the time. Just as you 
explained to students in your class, whenever a person can’t manage their 
own behavior in an acceptable manner, then the adult has to take over and 
manage their behavior for them. In your case, the adults in the school have sometimes 
found it necessary to remove this child from the room in order to preserve the 
learning environment for all the other students. It’s only fair that the other 
students have the opportunity to learn in an orderly, safe classroom.

Here’s an important point from Marshall’s program for students to 
understand:

All behavior is a personal CHOICE. If any of them were to follow along and 
misbehave–by copying a disruptive student or even by just giving encouragement as an appreciative audience–they too would be CHOOSING to 
operate at a lower level than acceptable.

In discussing the situation, you would also talk about the other two levels, C 
(Cooperation) and D (Democracy), which describe HIGHER levels of 
personal and social development. Level C is acceptable. But then there is Level 
D, which describes something even higher than acceptable. You might think of 
it as exceptional, although Marshall doesn’t use that exact description in his program.

DwStress teachers use the Hierarchy to help students understand self-discipline. The key to the approach is to explain ALL the levels to students but focus 
especially on some important understandings related to the highest two levels, 
C and D.

The difference between Level C and D (that is, between acceptable and 
exceptional behavior), can be explained in terms of motivation:

At Level C, a student is motivated EXTERNALLY to behave themselves by 
cooperating, and by willingly conforming to the expectations of the adult—AS 
LONG AS THE ADULT IS PRESENT. In your situation, this would describe 
students who can manage themselves appropriately in the classroom (even 
though one child is being incredibly disruptive in front of them,) whenever they 
notice the teacher is nearby or directly looking their way.

This level is higher than Level B because (at least when the teacher is present 
and is watching,) the child operating at Level C is self-disciplined enough to do 
the right thing. Their motivation is external however. They are motivated to do the right 
thing, perhaps to please their teacher or because they realize that to do 
anything disruptive would only lead to getting into trouble themselves.

Level C is the expected level of behaviour in the classroom in Marshall’s system 
of discipline. It is the level of obedience. In all other discipline systems 
that I’ve seen, this level is considered the highest level of behavior, but not so 
in Marshall’s approach. Having a higher-than-acceptable level is what makes 
Discipline Without Stress unique.

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Level D is the level of taking responsibility for yourself. It is the level of SELF-
discipline. It is the level of doing the right thing simply because it is the right 
thing to do. In other words, students operating at Level D think for themselves. 
They consciously make CHOICES for themselves with the understanding that all 
behavior is a personal choice.

You might think of Level D as the level of following your own conscience. When 
operating from this highest level, a student does the right thing regardless of 
whether or not an adult is present. In your situation, this describes a student who 
notices that a fellow student has chosen to behave in inappropriate ways and yet 
is not influenced to follow along–whether the teacher is watching or not.

They decide for themselves that following along or giving encouragement to the 
disruptive student would only mean that their own behaviour was no better off 
than that of the disruptive student–they would no longer be in control of 
themselves – in fact, they would be ALLOWING THE DISRUPTIVE STUDENT TO BE IN CONTROL OF THEM.

When you complimented your class on being able to manage themselves when 
one student was losing control, you were actually acknowledging that they were 
either on Level C or D of Marshall’s Hierarchy. The interesting thing is that Level 
C and D behaviour usually looks identical to anyone watching. The only 
difference between these two levels is in WHY the person is MOTIVATED to act 
correctly.

Some of your students would have been on Level C—they were motivated to act 
appropriately because your presence motivated them 
(externally) to behave themselves. This is acceptable but it’s not the highest 
level of behaviour.

Some would likely have been operating on the higher level, Level D. They simply 
knew inside themselves that to follow or encourage the disruptive student would 
be inappropriate. In other words they were INTERNALLY motivated.They 
wouldn’t have followed along with or acted inappropriately–even if they 
were all alone in the room with him.

Here’s the conversation I have had with 
previous classes in similar situations.

Just as you did, when it came up, I would be quite candid in discussing that ____ is sometimes working elsewhere in the school. Just as you did, I would 
explain that his behavior is out of control at the moment and that he is 
showing little self-discipline. I would ask someone in the class to identify the 
Hierarchy level of this type of disruptive behavior. Any child in the class would 
be able to correctly identify it as either Level A or B. Then I would ask them to 
tell me what happens when someone chooses to operate at an unacceptable 
level–to the point where it interferes with other people’s learning. Someone 
would say that when a student continually operates at Level B, a teacher has to 
take over. A teacher has to be the boss and tell the person what to do.

I would agree and say that yes, that is what the current situation is. ____ 
has such little self-discipline at the moment, that the adults have decided that 
he needs to work somewhere else in the school so that others can still learn and 
he can be helped to learn some self-discipline. Hopefully, with some help, ____ 
will soon learn to control himself enough to be able to rejoin the class in an 
acceptable manner. Then he too, will be able to move forward in his schooling.

Then I would initiate a discussion about the behavior of EVERYONE ELSE in this 
situation. I would talk about how we all have a personal choice in how we 
respond to ____ and his lack of self-discipline. I would ask them to imagine 
some scenarios.

For example, I would say:

What if someone chose to follow along and copy ____? What level would that 
be? (B)

What if someone chose to encourage ____ by laughing or making other 
comments (B)

Would a person who chose to encourage ____, or be influenced into following ____, be self-disciplinedthemselves?

I would talk about how some people in this situation might follow or encourage 
____, thinking that it was ____’S FAULT that they were misbehaving. I would 
make sure that everyone understood that ____’s behaviour can only influence 
our own, if we allow that and if we have no self-discipline ourselves.

Then I would move to discussing higher level behavior, Level C and D. I would 
first get them to describe behavior at each of these levels. They would explain that at Level C, a student watching ____ and 
his antics, wouldn’t follow or encourage ____ because they see the teacher in 
the room and know that it wouldn’t be a good idea to act like ____ because then 
they’d be in trouble too.

I’d say, yes, that’s true. Level C is acceptable behaviour. They would be able to 
manage their own response to ____ because they’d be smart enough not to do 
something inappropriate themselves WITH A TEACHER WATCHING. We’d talk 
about how they were doing the right thing, but that they were relying on the 
presence of the teacher to influence them in how they chose to behave. The 
result would be that classroom atmosphere would remain fairly calm and we’d 
be helping ____ too because he would see what self-discipline looks like in the 
rest of us.

Then I’d remind them that both Level C and D are acceptable and I would ask 
them this:

If Level C is acceptable, how is Level D higher?

Then some child would be able to explain in their own words that Level D is 
higher because the person at Level D wouldn’t be influenced by ____’s antics–
EVEN IF THE TEACHER WASN’T WATCHING or even if the teacher wasn’t in the 
room at all. Regardless of whether the teacher was in the room or not, they 
wouldn’t follow or encourage misbehavior, simply because they know that that’s the 
right thing to do. They wouldn’t want to encourage ____ to act up because they 
would know that wasn’t helping ____. They wouldn’t follow ____because 
they wouldn’t want to sink to Level B behavior themselves.

Then we’d talk about the benefits of being self-disciplined and being internally 
motivated to do the right thing simply because it’s the right thing to do in the 
situation. We’d talk about HOW GOOD IT FEELS to be in control of yourself. 
We’d talk about how people who are self-disciplined can respect themselves. 
When people often operate at a high level, they understand that to sink down to 
a lower level and follow someone else’s misbehavior means that they would be part of the 
problem. What self-respecting person wants to think of themselves as a 
problem! It FEELS GOOD to respect yourself and think highly of your own 
behavior. Operating at Level D allows you to take great pride in yourself.

As I said, I have had this exact same discussion with my own class in previous 
years and I have many similar discussions EVERY DAY about the benefits of 
operating at a high level; about exactly what it looks like to operate on a high 
level in ordinary everyday situations.

Although this might sound as if it would be above the heads of primary 
students, it isn’t at all. I teach Kindergarten and grade one. I simply 
use vocabulary that young children will understand to get the points across.

Although this way of thinking about behavior and self-discipline is very new to 
most teachers, I sense from your question that you are already thinking along these 
same lines. I hope my own experiences with fostering self-discipline through 
Marvin Marshall’s Discipline Without Stress will be of value to you!

RESPONSE:
Firstly, you can decide to make it a habit to use the three principles of DwStress–POSITIVITY, CHOICE and REFLECTION–in all your teaching.

1. You can phrase your communications positively.

For example, you can begin the class with a confident smile, letting them know that you are pleased to be working with your favorite age group! I don’t know about you, but whatever group I’m currently working with is always my favorite!

2. You can build small choices into the day.

For instance, you might say: “Your teacher left me a plan for the day. She said that we need to complete a written assignment and discuss some review questions for Friday’s test. Which would you like to do first? Let’s take a quick vote.”

You can offer choices to misbehaving students—even if the school requires that certain consequences need to be imposed. In a quiet and non-confrontational way, you might say, “I notice in your teacher’s planning book, that talking out of turn results in 20 minutes of lost lunch time. Is this what you really want? Which sounds better to you? Spending your lunch time in here with me doing an assignment, or in the cafeteria with your friends? I’m prepared to stay in with you, but the decision is really up to you.”

3. You can use reflective questioning to prompt thinking, as in the example above.

Your question reminded me of a letter I once received from someone who was intrigued by an experience I had written about in a little story titled, “Choosing Your Teacher.” The concept of “choosing your teacher” is mentioned in Dr. Marshall’s book, Discipline without Stress.

She explained to me that in the past when she had worked as a guest teacher, she had always found it effective to explain to classes that the students actually held the power to choose the kind of teacher they would like to have while their own teacher was away.

Here’s her story:

Quite a few years ago when my children were young, I subbed for our district because I wasn’t quite ready to go back to full-time teaching. By the way, this was long before I’d heard about Discipline Without Stress.

I used to go into the classrooms in the morning and give each class a little speech about who I was…what my expectations were…etc. And somewhere in there, I always managed to say some variation of, “You get to decide whether we have a great day together or a horrible day together. I can be a really fun teacher–or a really mean teacher. And it’s totally up to you which one I will be today.”

I loved subbing and invariably had great days with the kids. I hadn’t thought about that line, “choosing your teacher,” in years, until I read your story about the kids in your class discovering that they might all have a different teacher–depending on their own behaviors!

I would suggest that this person’s strategy of being upfront with the students and inviting them to be conscious of the fact that they actually hold the power to CHOOSE the type of teacher they would like to have while their regular teacher is away, would be an excellent way to start off any guest teaching assignment. It’s positive, it puts the responsibility for behavior where it belongs–on the students–and it empowers them with a choice!