Occasionally I feel the need to give one of my Kindergarten students a reflection sheet but at this age they can’t write.  Then what?

A related posting:

I’m looking for a primary reflection form.

I want to recognize my Level C and D students more but it seems that the B ones are getting all the attention; I keep having to asking them reflective questions!  For example, if they are all squirmy and loud in the hall I have been asking them, “Do you think your behavior is “up here?” (D/C),  or “down here?” (B/A).   Most kids will be honest and say they are “down here.” Then I might say, “What should we do if this problems continues?”  and the child tells me a consequence for their “down here” behavior.  This is  part of the philosophy––right?––eliciting consequences from the students? My fear is that my Level C and D students will begin to regress because of all the extra attention my Level A and B students receive!  What do you think?

RESPONSE:

In a situation like the one you mention, switch your focus to the positive.  Instead of giving your attention to the ones who are not doing as you ask, focus on what the students with acceptable behavior are doing.  Those who are already at that C/D level, will receive information and affirmation that encourages them to continue.  Those who are at the lower level will be challenged to move up.  By switching your focus to the acceptable, you will also give the students on the lower level, the information they need to know what acceptable behavior looks like.

Most times you’ll never have to mention the poor behavior at all.  Simply focus on what you notice about those students who are providing a good model.  Even if it’s only one child doing the correct thing, describe that child’s behavior without mentioning a name.

You can say something like this:

“Boys and girls,  we’ve talked many times about what is expected as we walk in the hallways.  Think for a moment, in your own head.  Are you, right this minute, doing as expected?  I want to thank you if you are.  I see people who are doing exactly what we have talked about.  It makes it so pleasant for me as a teacher when I have people who can manage themselves in an acceptable way.

I see that there are  a number of people standing with their arms down to their sides, they are quiet, they ________, ________, _________.  What level is this?  Yes, it’s C.  Level C people set a fine example for everyone.  If you’re not sure what to do, look around for someone who seems to be capable in this way.  You can become more capable too.

Some people in our class might even be at a higher level right now.  What level is higher than C?  Yes, Level D.  What is the difference between Level C and D in this situation?  Yes!  Those on Level D don’t even need a teacher with them.  They are choosing to be in charge of themselves.  It’s a joy to have such mature people in my classroom.  You’ll know that you’re on Level D, if inside yourself,  you feel very proud.  At Level D a person knows that they can act mature even if the teacher isn’t standing right with them.

When you mention these sorts of things to the group, more and more kids become interested in living up to positive expectations.  Why?  Because deep down they would prefer to think of themselves as mature and capable too.  You haven’t called down low behavior––haven’t given it any attention or even mentioned it. You’ve more or less ignored it because it’s simply not something you want to waste time discussing.  Instead you have put your energy into helping them think about how they might act more mature themselves.  Everyone wants to feel proud inside and you’ve just told them how they can achieve that feeling.

Reflective questions can prompt a person to think about any one of the levels, so try switching your focus.  Ask about the higher levels and you’ll start to see how the DWS Hierarchy can inspire young people!

I understand what a Level B student is but sometimes I hear teachers asking, “Do you want me to become a Level B teacher?” Can you explain what this is all about?

RESPONSE:
One important understanding students receive when the teacher introduces the DWS Hierarchy in the beginning of the year is that people can in effect, choose the type of relationship they wish to have with other people, including the authority figures in their life.

Good relationships are created by operating on Level C. For those who choose to operate on Level D–the highest level–relationships will be even better and more satisfying. Students are also introduced to the understanding that frequent operation on Level B (and certainly Level A,) very naturally leads to poor relationships with others.

As obvious as it might seem to teachers, this is a new concept for many students (and for some adults too!) Many students go through their school years feeling that teachers don’t like them, or pick on them and that their peers have it in for them too. In other words they go through their lives feeling victimized, not realizing that it is their OWN BEHAVIOR over time which determines, to a great extent, how others treat them and how others feel about them.

In this system of discipline, students are directly taught that through their own choice of the four behaviour levels (A,B,C, or D,) they are actually CHOOSING the types of relationships they want to have with other people, including their teacher.

Students are proactively taught then when someone continues to operate on Level B–one of the two lower and unacceptable levels–the teacher is required to step in and exert their authority. In other words, since the student is not being self-disciplined and is not in charge of him/herself, the teacher is forced to step in and take charge. At Level B, a student can EXPECT that a teacher will become their “boss.” It can’t be a surprise.

Therefore, when a student misbehaves (Level B,) the teacher might simply BRING AWARENESS to what is happening in the situation. After a student has assessed himself at Level B, a teacher might calmly ask, “Do you want me to become a Level B teacher?” (Of course, tone of voice and body language is important here so that the question doesn’t come across as a threat.)

Because students have been taught that continued Level B behaviour is unacceptable and results in a “Level B teacher” (that is, a teacher who must assume the position of boss and therefore use their authority to ensure that the child cooperates and conforms to acceptable standards,) in the majority of cases, students often decide that they would rather take charge of their own behaviour by voluntarily moving their operation up to Level C.

The teacher also expresses another important point—that their personal preference is to NOT have to take over and exert authority—since they have no interest in bossing people around. They would prefer that the student take care of their own behaviour and become self-disciplined, but… if the student can’t manage that, they are prepared to take over.

In this light, most students prefer to take charge of themselves.  In other words, they get their act together! Of course, if they can’t get their act together, then the teacher moves on to the next phase of the system, which entails using authority.

I find that in my classroom, because we so often talk about Level C and D as being more powerful than the two lower levels (in the sense of being “powerfully in control of yourself,”) almost all students prefer to think of themselves as powerful and capable—capable of managing at Level C or D. This is the secret to encouraging internal motivation in students.  It gives them a powerful image for which to strive.

Having to admit to yourself that you are on Level B is akin to admitting that you aren’t powerful enough to be in charge of yourself. No one likes to think of themselves in this way. With smaller children, I might phrase this as “Do you think you can raise the level of your behaviour or do you need me to become a babysitter for you–and stay right with you in order for you to manage? Once again, tone of voice is very important. A teacher would be conversational in this dialogue and certainly not threatening or sarcastic.

As I said, it’s usually a matter of simply bringing awareness to the situation at hand. Basically the teacher is asking: Can you control YOURSELF or do you need me to take control of you?

Some examples:

• Can you walk down the hall in an appropriate manner all by yourself or do you need me to walk right beside you?

• Are you prepared to work quietly at your desk or do we need to find another seating arrangement that will allow others to have the quiet they need to finish their assignment?

• Are you willing to play safely with the PE equipment or do I need to take it away from you?

Given the choice, “Do you want me to become a Level B teacher?” most young people decide that they would prefer to raise the level of their own operation to something more acceptable. It just seems like the sensible thing to do!

DR. MARSHALL’S RESPONSE:
Rather than asking a question, with these students, say: “Take a moment and please reflect on the behavior level you just chose.” Then continue your teaching. Do this continually. You are using a completely different approach than to what these students are accustomed. Persevere with asking students to reflect.

Asking middle and high school students to identify a chosen level can often be interpreted as coercive. This is especially the case in high poverty areas. Positive relationships with these students are critical. To develop and maintain positive relationships, reflect on how communications can be non-coercive, positive, and empowering. Ask yourself, “If I were the student how would I feel hearing this from the teacher?”

Continue to say things that dignify your students, e.g., “I know how competent you are. I have seen what you have done and what you are capable of doing.” Then follow up with options, viz., “But if you choose Level B, you should be aware that your are disappointing yourself more than anyone else. Your teachers, your parents–anyone who cares about you will be disappointed–but it will not affect their lives any where near what YOU are losing.”

Regarding the forms, use any of them sparingly and as a very last resort. Even when handing an essay or self-diagnostic referral to a student, a choice is always given, e.g., “Do you prefer to complete the form in your seat, in the back of the room, by yourself or would you like someone to help you?” Giving three options is empowering and also takes the focus away from the act of completing the form.

Remember to share the idea that the students, in part, determine the type of teacher they get. If students are on Level B, the students are telling the teacher that they are not competent enough to be self-directed–that they need someone to boss them.

In practical terms, however, rather than actually becoming a coercive Level B teacher, a more effective approach is to inform students that you (as teacher), have no interest in bossing them. Emphasize that everyone is in the boat together. This means that students who want to learn and are acting on Levels C and D need to take the initiative let the students operating on Level B, know that they (students operating on Levels C & D,) do not appreciate the way these students are acting.

Have a short class meeting for suggestions, but also emphasize the point that the teacher will teach when the students are ready to learn. Otherwise, silent activities will be the order of the day.

Again, notice that you are empowering the students because they have a choice as to the type of teacher they get. They know you are being positive because of your expressed desire to teach them. If they want to learn, they need to reflect upon, and change what they are doing.

Students often see the “essay” as a punishment. It can become a power-struggle with some teachers. Do you have any suggestions for when the “essay” becomes punitive in the students’ eyes or clearly just doesn’t engage them in self-reflective thinking (same thing written day after day, with no behavioral change). I would love some feedback.

RESPONSE:
When a student perceives that a teacher is using a DWS essay as a punishment (even if it’s been called a reflective essay and even if the teacher did not intend to punish the student,) then the essay will produce the same results as a punishment. A student who perceives the essay has been given, more or less in the spirit of a punishment, will feel punished. Such a perception does not engender cooperation or inspire a desire to change.

Dr. Marshall’s intention was never that people should use the essay as a form of punishment, and obviously, teachers attracted to this non-punitive approach are not interested in punishing students, but because most teachers are completely new to the philosophy of motivating through internal motivation, many find it challenging to develop a new mindset. It’s easy to slip back into old habits.

Many people initially over-rely on the essay because it feels familiar to them. Of course, what’s FAMILIAR is that it can easily be given out–very much like one of those old-fashioned assignments handed out in detention rooms.

For many teachers new to the DWS, the reflective essay appears to be a fast and easy way to deal with a problem. Unfortunately, “fast and easy” solutions are often ineffective in the long term. For example, rewarding students to pick up garbage will have instant results–spotless school grounds–but typically, what happens after a while? When the rewards stop, so does the “responsible” behavior.

The only way a person can hope to influence another to change is by first creating a good relationship with them. With a strong personal connection, the teacher’s influence will be greater. There’s nothing fast or easy about the DWS approach with students who are exceptionally challenging, however, the good news is that at the end of it all, any progress made is likely to be permanent.

For my teaching partner and I, the solution is to have private conversations with those children who have serious issues. We use the questions outlined on the reflective essay forms in Dr. Marshall’s book, to help guide the conversation but we don’t ask the students to complete the form. It does take time and patience but it seems to us the best way to help the most challenging students move forward.

To support you in your work of connecting positively with the difficult students at your school and to lay the foundation for successful implementation of DWS, you might be interested in investigating the work of developmental pyschologist, Dr. Gordon Neufeld.

In particular, I highly recommend his inexpensive audio download titled, “Counterwill in Children,” available by scrolling down at this link: http://www.gordonneufeld.com/av.php

I once had a grade 8 student who said, “It doesn’t matter what level I say I’m on, you’re always going
to find a way to tell me that I’m on an unacceptable level.”

I’m wondering what a teacher might say in response to something like that?

A response from Tammy
Shared on the DWS Mailring:

I’d probably ask, “Can you show me, then, how the behavior fits into a higher level?

Language is my biggest stumbling block. I know what I want to say but on the spur of the moment I often find it hard to put into words. As I develop new habits with this discipline approach, I sometimes feel a bit tongue-tied. Can you give me some examples of questions that don’t sound manipulative or coercive.

RESPONSE:

Developing new habits can be a challenge at first, but remember that any skill gets easier with practice! There are many questions in Dr. Marshall’s book that can be used to prompt reflection (pages 19-20.)

It’s important to remember that tone of voice is very important when asking questions, so as to avoid any sense of sarcasm or coercion.

Here are some questions my teaching partner and I have used in the past. They may be helpful to you:

• Is this going to get you what you want?

• Is this going to move you forward?

• Is what you’re doing helping you move forward… or backward?

• Does it feel as if were moving forward here, or does if feel as if we’re stuck? What would you have to do if you wanted to move forward in this situation?

• What can I do to help you?

• Are you going to let this _____ (situation, person, problem, setback, disappointment etc.) hold you back?

• Are you going to be able to rise above this (situation? disappointment? etc.)

• Look at _______’s face. How is he/she feeling right now as a result of (what you have done/said)?

• When you do this are you you making a friend–or pushing a friend away?

• What would a ________ (mature, kind, reliable, responsible, extraordinary) person do now?

• Now that you’ve __________, how could you repair the situation?

• Think for a moment. When you _____________, what kind of a relationship are you creating with ________ (me? the Noon Hour Supervisor? other kids? the adults in the school?)

• What kind of impression are you making on all the people here, when you _______? Is this the impression you want to make?

• Can you picture yourself doing_______ ( a very specific procedure)?

• When you __________, what pictures are you creating about yourself in the minds of your (friends? teachers? adults in our school?)

• Is what you’re doing going to make you happy in the long run? Is there a happier choice? (Thanks to Dan Gurney for this question.)

• Here’s an opportunity for you to ___________ (act on a high level, try a new challenge, be a kind friend, show some initiative, act with self-discipline etc.)

• If you continue down this path, of doing what you’re doing, what will likely happen/result?

• Would you like an opportunity to do that again, at a higher level?

• Would you be willing to try that again at a higher level?

• Would you be kind enough to allow ________ the opportunity to try that again at a higher level?

• If you feel you can’t do any more right now, when do you plan to get your work done?

• Is what you’re doing __________ (safe? on a high level? kind? appropriate? helpful? respectful?)

• How might you feel if someone else did that to you?

• Think to yourself of someone in our class who generally operates on a very high level. What would that person do now, in your situation?

• Who do you want to be in charge of you? Who do you want to be your boss?

DR. MARSHALL’S RESPONSE:
Every student-teacher relationship is different. No teacher should be bound by the relationship of another.

The less reliance on the form, the more successful you will be in discipline situations. Use it only as a last resort.

The essay was designed to give the student a responsibility-producing activity while allowing the teacher to continue teaching.

When the teacher has a moment to spend with the student, the discussion should revolve around developing a procedure to help the student redirect impulses.

The self-diagnostic referral is used when the essay is no longer effective and the teacher wants to inform the parent. If a student has behaved responsibly after completing the self-diagnostic referral, then the essay can be used again.

In all cases, the student is asked to identify the level of chosen behavior. This, in essence, serves as a warning before any written form is given.

When a form is used, remember to give the student several choices, e.g., completing the form in the student’s seat, in the back of the room or with the help of another student.

The mindset of the teacher should be to work with the student to help him/her control impulses.

Remember that the forms are simply options for a teacher to use if they so choose. The teacher can also elicit a consequence from the student if irresponsible behavior continues.