With a story line that reflects real life, Lilly, the exciting main character, has some depth to her personality.  In DWS terms, Lilly doesn’t remain on one level, as some more shallow picture book characters do.  She’s up and down and all over the place––just as many intelligent, exuberant and feisty children are.  Being young, Lily’s choices/actions/emotions swing from high to low––to high again!  This story offers the possibility of rich discussion about how our level of operation can vary from moment to moment, and how choice-response thinking fits into the picture.  After the Hierarchy has been introduced, students could assess Lilly’s various levels of operation.

The book is a natural choice for a read-aloud in connection with establishing procedures for Show and Tell.  After having firmly established your own procedures with students,  you can read the story of Lilly. Discuss Lilly’s Show and Tell challenges.  What young child can’t relate to having something really fabulous to share––and having to wait for the appropriate time to show it?

• How did ignoring Mr. Slinger’s Show and Tell expectations work out for Lilly?
• What would have been some better choices leading to happier results?

(And here’s a good lesson for us teachers too:  How could Mr. Slinger have been more effective in his teaching?  Although he held some general expectations for kids about Show and Tell, he didn’t seem to have any exact procedures for Show and Tell items.  A more experienced teacher would have had a procedure about where to place Show and Tell treasures until it was Show and Tell time!)

The appealing personality of Lilly  provides a perfect lead-in to a discussion of controlling impulses. After reading the book several times, you might use it to introduce:

1. Dr. Marshall’s suggestions for handling impulsiveness, and;
2. The poster he has created to teach students to deal with impulsive urges.

The class could brainstorm procedures that Lilly could use to curb her wilder side!  Discussing impulse procedures for someone else is non-threatening.  On subsequent days––when a child in the class proves to be impulsive––teaching important understandings about impulsiveness has already been completed, proactively.

This Kevin Henkes’ book also allows us to pleasantly discuss another important DWS concept; the rather startling idea (for young people, at least!) that students can choose the type of teacher they want.  In this case, Lilly actually chooses to have her teacher––her beloved, Level D, Mr. Slinger––become a “Level B teacher.”  She doesn’t realize that it was her choice, or even that she made a choice non-consciously through her own behavior.  She blames Mr. Slinger for her problems––but the kids in your class will be able to recognize that in fact, Lilly had all the control in this situation!

Then on a comical note, I can’t resist offering you this funny youtube clip!  Just as kids can easily relate to the character of Lilly and her plight with a special plastic purse, what primary teacher can’t relate to the following typical school day dilemma?  Enjoy!

Some related postings:

Can you give me examples of procedures for Show and Tell?

Choosing your teacher!

Choose your teacher–just for the day!

Primary/Intermediate Book- “Miss Nelson is Missing”

Using the DWS Impulse Poster

When there is a discipline issue, my first course of action is to return to the DWS Teaching Model.  Guided by the first step, I review my procedures:

• Have I taught/practiced this particular procedure enough times for this child to be successful?
• Can I offer this child a chance to find his own procedure or should I work with the youngster, developing a procedure together?
• Have I taught about impulse management?  Have I explained, at this child’s level of understanding, what it means to be a victim of impulses?

A grade four teacher in our school once had a student that blurted out continually––weeks after everyone else in the class had learned not to do so. One lunch hour she worked with him, teaching him to use a poker chip to keep his impulses in check.

She gave him a poker chip to put on the left hand corner of his desk.  Together they practiced: She pretended to teach and when he wanted to say something, his procedure was to first take the poker chip in hand and then raise it so she could see. When she saw he had followed the procedure, she would acknowledge him by asking him to speak. By practicing together in a fun way many times (because after all, it is kind of funny to do this when no one else is around, and the teacher is pretending to teach and the child is pretending to want to say something), he learned to curb his impulse to call out during regular classes.

Steven Covey refers to “the gap between the stimulus and the response.” He suggests that any person is capable of consciously using this small gap of time to choose to do something other than simply react in a habitual way. Covey asserts that the goal for anyone who wants to be less reactive is to make this gap bigger over time.  If a person practices doing a concrete action in the gap, it “buys a bit of time,” thus creating a slightly bigger space between the stimulus and the response.  It acts as an automatic reminder that a new habit is being formed.

If a “blurter” gets into the habit of employing a deliberate and concrete physical procedure––such as having to pick something up before he speaks––he has automatically created a bigger gap.  This larger gap affords him more time to consciously choose a desirable response.  Gradually, with opportunities to practice, a positive habit can replace a negative one; self-control can replace impulsiveness.

I teach a class of remediation seniors who have not passed the high school exit exam. They are very difficult to control. Nothing fazes them. There are two or three who simply do not take no for an answer. They ask to go to the bathroom, get a drink, make a phone call. I say “No.”  They ask again in 3 minutes.

DR. MARSHALL’S RESPONSE:

Teach the Hierarchy. Discuss the level that students are on when they attempt to evade their responsibility of learning. (Level B because they are making their own standards of what school should be about.)

Share the examples you have described in your question above.  Ask the class to develop some procedures where it can be a win-win situation. Explain you don’t want to say no, but you know that the trips out of the room are attempts to remain victims of impulses.  They are simply excuses to waste time, rather than learn.

Spend a few minutes daily with each of these students at their desk level––not over them. Tutor them. Build a relationship with each one.

Have a class discussion regarding how collaboration is an excellent way to learn.  Explain why  peer mentoring is so effective for both the mentor and the mentee. Try to match these students up with another student who would be willing to work with them.

If all else fails, you can always use contingencies, e.g., “Sure you can go, when your assignment is completed and you explain it to me.”

Note: A full explanation of “contingencies” can be found in Dr. Marshall’s book, starting on page 3.

DR. MARSHALL’S RESPONSE:

Re:  Home Life

Focus on the behavior––not the “why” for the behavior.  Regardless of the “why,” everyone still has the freedom to choose their response to any situation, stimulus, or urge.

Simply put, expect your students to act in appropriate ways. Let them  know that if they don’t, they are the victims of their impulses. Not  even young children want to be victims.  (View DWS Impulse Poster.)

Re: Other Teachers

You can be the only one at school using the  program and the learning climate of your class changes. (Of course, the entire culture of the school changes if the system is adopted school wide.)

A related post: Using the DWS Impulse Poster

6th and 7th graders are very impulsive creatures — they have been taught to be impulsive by adults. Don’t believe it? Just go to a teacher training session and observe how the teachers behave while the speakers are presenting!  As a society we have become more impulsive, less respectful and less willing to listen to others.  Just watch the adults, who come, presumably, to watch a student performance at school; they often talk right through it!

So, I guess my point is that until students are taught and learn self control, are disciplinary consequences really the answer? Is giving them Detention Hall going to make them less impulsive?  More importantly, will it make them respect you, make them more excited about school, your classroom, and your subject? My guess is not.  You may get through to some but I suspect you will alienate more than you win over.

So in reality, the goal is to teach students self-control and self-discipline. The way you do this is by establishing your own routine when the behavior occurs. Give them the talk about working together (it comes in many forms,) and then just tell them that you are not going to respond to their outbursts. When they do yell out, respond with your cool, calm and collected routine. It becomes a procedure and a learning tool–rather than a consequence.

I have a high level math class and they are the most impulsive creatures I have ever seen! I put a worksheet on a desk and immediately I am bombarded with a million questions before I even finish passing the rest out.

Here is how I respond:

I have a poster on my wall that I got from Dr. Marvin Marshall’s web site. He is the author of the book, Discipline Without Stress, Punishments or Rewards.

The poster says:

IMPULSE CONTROL

STOP – Gasp a long deep breath,

THINK – of options,

GO – with your best choice.

We talk about this at the first of the year. With each outburst I simply do not respond.  Instead I walk over to the poster, and place my hand next to it like a game show model would present a product. At first it didn’t work, but after a while a few students started with the, “Shut-up”s and “Be quiet.” to their neighbors.   Now it takes little more than walking towards the poster to get the desired response; the class quiets down.

The key is refusing to respond to unsolicited outbursts.  Never ever respond. If you do respond, it should be with, “As soon as you sit quietly and raise your hand, I will consider responding to you.”

Impulsiveness is not something that can be easily overcome. Our world is full of impulsive and compulsive people. Think of it as another skill to learn–like reading or long division. It takes time and repetition to break a bad habit.

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Kerry’s Comments:

Although the suggestions above were originally offered to a teacher at the middle school level, the same procedure could be taught with great success at any grade level, following much the same teaching process as described.

Click here to view Dr. Marshall’s Impulse Poster.  Although some people prefer to make charts like this themselves, others prefer to save time by purchasing them from Dr. Marshall’s site.